I have a lot of people tell me that I seem like “I don’t care about anything”, or “you just don’t let anything bother you somehow”. Well, I’ve talked before about how I’ve changed a lot over the years. One of those changes has been my thought process. I’ve changed the way I’ve thought about things so much, it’s crazy to me when I think back to the way I used to be.
I used to be a really negative person. When it rained, it poured. When something bad happened, something worse was bound to come after that. It always felt like I was stuck in a rut. I can’t really pinpoint one certain event that changed that, but it was a few, and as weird as it may sound they all had to do with loss.
I always look at 2012 as one of the “worst years” I’ve ever had. I say “worst years”, because as bad as it may have been, I made it through it OK. At the beginning of that year I had a dog I loved dearly taken from me, a group of friends write me off, and a dear friend pass away. This was all within about a month’s span. I think most people would consider that pretty bad?
At the time, I felt pretty bad for myself. It felt like everybody was leaving me. Thankfully, I found the opposite happen. Some times you find that people you think are your friends, are really just holding you back. I found that to be the exact case. I definitely had good times with those people, but now that I look back I see that those good times don’t outweigh achieving a goal. I also found that surrounding yourself with the right people makes all the difference in the world. I’m fortunate enough to have found an amazing environment to grow, not just as an athlete, but as a person too.
As I said earlier, I used to be a really negative person, but now I find myself thinking the opposite. Nothing is as bad as it seems, as long as you’re still here. I think we take the beauty of life for granted too often. I think that if more people lived in the present, they would be happier. Too often we let the future, or past control our emotions. Sure, things seem like they may pile up, or the world may be against you, but those things can’t take away what makes you happy. I know that at the end of the day there are people out there who love me, which is all I really need.