I’ve had a few people notice, and then ask me about what has changed in my life recently to make me more motivated. While I could point to many different things, I know it really comes down to one. It’s a difference in my mindset.
For me, changing my mindset required me to take a look at myself and ask if I was living like the person I really wanted to be. I used to have what I call the loser mindset. I used to always have preloaded excuses for coming up short in things. I used to blame every bad thing that happened to me on some outside force. I used to never think that I was the problem in any situation. I think it’s very easy to get stuck in this mindset. A majority of people seem to have adopted this culture of blaming everything but yourself and the choices you’ve made for when things go wrong. I know I used to, but I also know that things have gotten a lot better for me since I started looking at my own involvement in how things go down. Especially in my athletic performances as I no longer limit myself on what I think I can or can’t do, but would rather ditch the excuses and push myself as hard as I can to see what I can achieve. That’s obviously not applicable to everybody, but ask yourself if you’re doing the best job you can do. Ask yourself if you’re getting ahead in your field in the way you want. If not, then analyze what you’re doing and try making what you think are the appropriate changes.
This of course is not the only thing that makes up the loser mindset. A big part of it is worrying about what other people are doing, and I mean that in the most general way possible. My normal reaction when people come up and ask me, “Did you hear about what happened to this person?”, is that if it’s not positive or something they need help with and just gossip then I really don’t need to hear it. If it’s something about somebody I haven’t seen or talked to in years, I couldn’t care less. If it’s about somebody that somebody else thinks is my competition, it’s the least important thing in the world to me. I honestly really do know too many people who love talking about or starting drama. That shit wasn’t even cool in high school, so it’s super embarrassing to be associated with grown adults(mostly by age only) who act that way. If you’re reading this, and think I care about what somebody else is doing, the only person you’re fooling is yourself. If you’re reading this and think it applies to you, it probably does and you should probably spend some time worrying about yourself instead.
The last part of the loser mindset to me is when you head in to something already thinking you can’t do it. This is one is often times a combination of the two things I talked about above. We will head in to things thinking that we can’t do them, then we have people telling us we can’t do them, so we head in thinking it’s already lost. Any time you try to do something bigger than yourself, you’re going to have people tell you that you can’t do it. You can’t listen to these people, or even be around them really. If things were truly impossible, people wouldn’t even try them. There’s a big chance that other people will question what you’re doing because they wish they could be doing it themselves. The last thing you should ever do is listen to them, and definitely don’t question yourself. At the end of the day you’re the only one who knows what is best for you.
I know people will ask about the title of this, it’s a line from a Kanye West song. “Too many Urkels on your team, that’s why your wins low.” A great reference not only to Family Matters, but also to the idea of surrounding yourself with losers is the quickest way to make sure you become one.