I thought that with this blog I would expand a little bit on what I wrote about last time. I ended my last blog saying a lot of people had asked me about changes I had made in life, so I figured I should expand on that some. There are a lot of smaller things that I changed, but I figured today I would touch on the main ones.
I did touch on one of the things last week, but the biggest one was looking at myself and my own actions. Everybody has their own standards, and definition of what they think makes somebody a good person, or makes something “right”. I feel like a lot of us have forgotten that though. I see people judging other people for something they’ve done, when I know the person saying something has done something similar. It’s really funny and kind of shocking when this happens, but I have seen it happen more and more lately. Everybody is so quick to rush to a judgement based on what their perception, without asking for any further context or the person’s situation. It’s disappointing to me, because nobody wants to be treated like that, but people have no problem doing just that seemingly just to get their friends to agree with them. I’ve also seen a lot of people who talk about how they’re going to live their life on social media, but then they do the exact opposite, and normally blame it on some outside factor. I see people all the time say they’re going to do something, then if somebody brings it up later it’s always, “well, it didn’t happen because of xyz”. And I don’t mean that as in every once in a while. I see people post stuff then make up the excuses later DAILY. It’s crazy to me to try and be like that, as I see it only as a way to disappoint yourself.
Another major turning point was about a year ago, I started to more closely examine my relationships with people. I had reached a frustrating point for myself, and it honestly felt like a lot of people had left me high and dry. I understand that everybody has their own life and their own things going on, but I was confused because I had voiced these concerns with some people who said they would be there for me and they pretty much just told me to get over it. This is where most people would say they “cut them off”, or disassociated with those people, but that wasn’t really an option for me. Some of these people I saw or spoke to every day. I just decided that if they weren’t going to be bothered by what I had going on that I wouldn’t tell them anything I had going on. I also realized that I didn’t need their approval for anything, which was a huge relief too.
I would say the biggest thing though was realizing that nothing anybody could say or do could affect me, unless I gave them the power to do it. I think too many of us are looking for approval from the wrong people. I don’t care what you do or accomplish, if you can’t break away from people who never make you feel good enough, you’re weak AF. I’ve had coaches tell me straight to my face that they think I wouldn’t perform well, but I don’t do this for them. What I do is for whoever is going to be there for me in the tougher, more private times, which right now is nobody. But that’s fine to me for now, because it means I don’t have to worry about anybody else giving me a hard time about what I want or trying to make me feel bad because I don’t live up to their standards.
If you really pay attention to what people do more than they say, you’ll probably notice that most people are hypocrites. You’ll be much better served not to worry about all of them and to just focus on yourself.