If I had to point to one thing that I think holds people back in life, it would be fear. It happens to all of us to some degree. No matter what people say, we all feel it. I think there are a lot of types of fear that people don’t even realize are that at all, the main one being finding an excuse to not do something.
I’m not talking about legit ones, duh. But some people will think of any reason to not do something. Most of the time they’ll tell you about all the big things that they have coming up, but then they never materialize. When you bring it up to them, they always rely on excuses to explain why they haven’t progressed towards their goal. The most common one to me is, “I don’t have time.” I can’t stand it when people say this. If something is important to you, then you’ll make the time to get it done. That’s the main reason I think this is really a fearful explanation.
I have fears of my own. I’ve chosen a not so normal path in life, and that alone can be scary. I had the opportunity to have a “normal” lifestyle. Go to school, get a degree, get a job out of college, and just go through life day by day. That’s honestly never interested me though. I can understand why most people would choose that. My life isn’t exactly the most comfortable, but I also wouldn’t change it for anything at this point.
I also worry about living up to my own standard, especially when it comes to my job. Putting yourself out there for the world to see if you succeed or fail is hard to do. Just because you might not care about other peoples’ opinions at the end of the day doesn’t mean that hearing them all the time doesn’t have an effect on you. I have so many people offering to help me, or giving me advice, and it can be hard to filter it all out. You want to try and listen to it because you assume they’re saying it for the sake of helping you out. The funny thing is that normally I see it as them wanting to just talk, or get credit for “helping” you. When you’re first starting something, advice can definitely be helpful, but you should also get to a point when you can differentiate the helpful advice from the people who just want to flap their gums.
So, how do you overcome fear? I honestly can’t answer that for you. Nobody can tell you how to conquer your fears, only you can figure that out. For me it was understanding that it was about being satisfied with MY performance, not being worried about what people might say afterwards. While other people can have their input, I’m the one that has to live with myself at the end of the day, so what I think about how I did is what matters most. As far as pursuing what I want in life, that just comes from understanding how limited my time here really is. I’ve unfortunately had a lot of friends taken from me earlier than they should have, but it’s more of a bitter reminder that that will be me one day. I could go through life putting things off because I’m scared of failing, and then bitching about all the time, or I could step up and see what happens. The biggest thing is probably that I’ve personally faced things that I don’t think a lot of people could handle, and I didn’t have people I could talk to about it at the time so I had to deal with them by myself. When I looked back and realized these things, I really saw fear for what it was, a roadblock in life preventing people from doing what they want.
Roadblocks are meant to be run over. I’m gonna do what I want.